I know that I complain about having to work full-time, and I need to do so again, but I will end this rant on a positive note I promise!
Some things I feel I have missed out on;
-Being a mom. FIRST and most important I feel like I have missed out on Summer. She has been in daycare since she was almost 3. It was so hard to leave her everyday! It is easier now that she is at the same school as me. But teaching takes a lot out of me- energy, patience, emotional sanity, and just plain time consuming, and my family gets what's left of me...
-Hanging out with friends AND making new friends in my neighborhood. Before I worked full-time I would go out during the day with friends or have people over ALL the time! I am a social creature. I still get some socializing at work but it's not the same. I feel like even though I have lived here for 4 years I don't have any close friends. Plus the friends I have I don't get to see very often.
- Time. It's hard working full time because you only have the weekends to do all the cleaning/shopping/laundry etc.. So instead of spending fun family time on Saturdays it's now a bunch of chores! :(
- Expecting. Being my age, and health, and working has been really hard to be pregnant. If I was home it would be tons easier, and I would get more rest. I am afraid at how these last 10 weeks will be...
-Future. I don't know what the future will be with a new baby and I am nervous about it. I want more than anything to be home with the baby. We are praying hard about what to do.
On the positive side here are the things which have been blessings;
-Constant. In the past 3+ years Tom has had 4 jobs, with periods of unemployment. My job has been a blessing to have the income AND the health benefits! I know that without my job we would not be in our house right now.
- Kids. Being at the same school as my kids has been priceless. I see them more than if I was at home, they come see me at lunch and recess, I get to know their teachers and friends better. I love being at school with them.
- Teaching Special Education. It really is a blessing to me to be around such wonderful kids. I love them so much! I have had the same kids for 3 years. They are amazing. I also love that I get to work with some wonderful women. We have a great time!
-Tom. He reminded me that I forgot to put him on my grateful list. I feel bad!!! There is NO WAY I could work without his help! He gets up every morning and gets the kids ready and makes lunches, he does laundry and dinner and cleans. Sometimes having an OCD husband is really nice!!! And he does even more now that I am expecting. What a blessing to me! He takes good care of me and the kids!
That was therapeutic for me to write all this stuff down. So if you're still reading, wow. I hope those of you who work can empathize with me and those who get to stay home can appreciate what a blessing it is!
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8 comments:
Perspective is everything.
I admire you Sal! You are so strong.
I am glad I am not the only one that feels as you do. If I go out with a friend or even a date with Jeff I feel guilty because I feel I should be at home with my kids because I am away from them enough. I miss out on several baseball. basketball etc games and dancing recitals at times that it makes me sad. The pregnancy thing I hear ya! I didn't work with Branson when I was prego with him but Presli that took a toll on me expecially cuz i was working. At the same time I agree working has been a blessing too. It is a bitter sweet! Thanks for your perspective.
Hey Chica, when are you due? Are you havin' a shower? I'd love to invite myself and see ya. Let me know!!
Here's what I can't figure out. How can you work full time and be the amazing mom you are all while being pregnant and still have time to blog? You are amazing!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIG SISTER!!!
Happy Birthday Sally. You are amazing!!!!! Things will work out.
Just know that your not a bad mother. Your having a full time job thats there to support your kids. But at the same time it really makes you miss your kids a lot more and you kids you a lot more lol. Especially when they hit their teenage stages. I actually read an article on the mormon times on raising your kids. And its a really good article of boost. :)
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