Thoughtful

So this darn Twilight series has me all deep in thought and remembering my own experiences, of high school, of first love, of deep indescribable sorrow of losing someone, funny what can bring those feelings back up to surface...like empathizing with a character in a book. :) I have had 3 experiences in my life like that, accompanied with a lot of grief, I am such a melodramatic sap aren't I? Tom will tell you exactly how many boyfriends I have had... but my heart only broke over 3. First one in high school, how can anyone so young be so sure of how they feel, but I was, completely, even put what my initials would be if we got married in my yearbook quote!!! Then when it ended I sulked/cried for a LONG time, listened to love songs only to cry more (songs like "nothing compares to you" sinead o'connor) and lost a lot of weight, which back then made me look like a skeleton, to the point that made my mother so nervous she actually picked me up effortlessly and said she was making me go to the doctor, ah good times...instead I joined weight watchers with her, I know it sounds weird but it makes you eat, and guess what I gained weight on weight watchers! LOL. It took me a long time to get over my first heartache. The second one was my sophomore year at BYU, it was either get married to my returned missionary or go on a mission, a decision that had me in agony either way. I had always wanted to go on a mission and I cried when I thought about not going, but I also cried about leaving this person I thought I couldn't live without! Things worked out in the end, of course, but not without MUCH heartbreak, losing weight, etc.. It was then that I decided that the person I would marry would have to make me forget about these two heartbreaks. Along comes my Tommy, not without heartbreak though, we broke up 3 times and it nearly killed me, even though I was doing the breaking up. I think he needed a swift kick in the rear! And he got it the third time we were apart, realizing there was no one better than me, for him. I think it's funny that he lets me talk about my past but there is NO WAY he can even mention his! He sees my past as a trophy for him, I know he's weird! :) When we disagree on anything he jokes, "Well don't you wish you married (insert name)?" or "I bet (name) would give you another baby!" I always punch him in the arm when he says stuff like that. (This really sounds like a journal entry and a little personal) Can anyone tell how enthralled I am? Got to get back to reading... Hee Hee