12/3/10

Empty & Personal

I'm empty.

I was expecting our 6th child.

I lost the baby last night.

I was almost done with the first trimester.

I'm devastated.

I know I have 5 wonderful, beautiful, fun, sweet children, but I loved and wanted THIS one.

I loved from the moment I found out. I planned. I pictured the baby in our family, how Zoey would only be 15 months when the baby was born. We had names picked out. We were looking forward to June.

I'm not exactly a spring chicken. If we're going to have another baby I can't wait too long. I'm worried about this happening again, but I shouldn't think about it now.

People say you shouldn't tell when you're expecting, we were waiting for a while, but now it feels silly. I wouldn't keep this loss to myself, I want my family and close friends to know.

I feel like there is an empty place in my heart. I am heartbroken.

But as always in my life, God is in charge and I will let Him take over. He knows me, He knows my family, He knows my pain and my desires. Things will work out.

I hope I have the chance again someday to get the little baby who should be part of our family.




14 comments:

Heather H said...

Oh Sally, I am so very sorry. Please let me know if you need anything.

Stephanie said...

Sally, so sorry to hear of your loss. I hope the Spirit will bring you peace during this time of loss. Love you lots.

Melanie said...

Sally...I am so sorry! My prayers are with you!!!!! HUG!

The Cannon Family said...

Oh Sally, my heart is broken for you. Sending lots of hugs across the miles.

KindaCrunchy said...

So sorry to hear this Sally. I've been there before. Many hugs coming your way. Remember to pray and ask for a blessing of comfort if needed.

Julie said...

I'm sad, too. Thanks for letting us know.

Laura said...

So sad for my sweet Miss Sally. My heart is breaking for you. This baby will be a part of your family. Know, it is not lost forever. My prayers and heart are with you sweet Sally. Love you, Laura

Mindy said...

Oh Sal! I am so so sorry. And I'm so glad you opened up and shared what you're going through so we can be there for you! I am crying with you. Please feel my prayers and love and my arms around you! I love you!!!

Wendy said...

Sally! I'm so sorry. I was I lived closer so I could come give you a big hug.

2 + 2 = 4 said...

This hurt my soul to read. I know how it feels. I have been there 4 times in the past two years!

Many hugs!

Tarin said...

Sally, you are a fantastic mother and a wonderful person. I've been praying for you. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

Autumn said...

Oh Sally, I am so sorry about this. It breaks my heart how sad you must be. I'm thinking of you.

meg.. said...

I'm so sorry Sally. Sending you lots of {{{hugs}}}.

Nat said...

I love you!!

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